Posts Under Category Standup Comedy
Bill Maher on naming planets
When scientists find a new planet that’s just like Earth, they have to give it a better name than Gliese 581. It sounds like an alias in a chat room. Are we supposed to explore it or think it’s a horny teenager – go to its galaxy looking for sex and end up on "Dateline."
Bill Maher on Tom Cruise and Iran
Iran and Tom Cruise must swap hostages. Those 15 British sailors for Katie Holmes and her space baby. It’s a Shiite-Scientologist match made in heaven. The Iranians get something they’ve always wanted, the chick from "Dawson’s Creek," and Tom gets something he’s always wanted: 15 British sailors.
Bill Maher on public marriage proposals
No more public marriage proposals. When you hire a skywriting plane, or propose to your girlfriend at a ballgame, every unmarried woman is looking at her man like, "Well…" And you’re not helping the married men, either, whose wives are remembering how they proposed to them in flip-flops, cargo shorts and a "Who Farted?" tee-shirt. [...]
