JRod on Kings XI Punjab

Classically attractive, but unsexy.

Porn star: Yuvraj Singh

Showed all the captaincy instincts of a squirrel last series. But the fans and cameras love him. Will look cool a lot, but maybe not much more.

Pole Dancer: Shaun Marsh

Was the best batsmen of the first tournament, will be in Pakistan for a time, but once he is back he gives the Kings a spine.

Boy Next Door: Piyush Chawla

Another legspinner, but more of an absurdist straight breaker. Very hard to get away and should be a major strike weapon for the Punjabi kings.

Model: Brett Lee

Chance he wont play, but really wasn’t that much of a figure last season anyway. If he plays the South African pitches will help him. Will be desperate to impress.

Home Made/Amateur: Burt Cockley

Fast bowling NSWales nobody with a great name.